Four European Hypocrisies

After spending a little over a month in Europe, there were a few things that began to bug me. Then, after getting back to these United States and refilling my system with some delicious GM high fructose corn syrup, hormone-pumped beef, and cheese spelled with a Z, I've come up with about four things that particularly got on my nerves.

1. I'm no right-winger by any measure, but I really do believe that the socialist systems set up in most European countries can have a negative impact on customer service, if nothing else. If a business is the only business of its kind in a town, maybe because it's government-owned, there's nobody across the street to compete with them for customers. What can be the nicest building with the greatest products in town can have the worst service. I've found a lot of employees in places like this can be really cold and inflexible, with a few exceptions for people who are just naturally nice and/or Austrian.

2. European cigarette cartons all have signs printed on them that take up half the space on the front panel, and say things like "SMOKING CAN KILL YOU" or "SMOKING SERIOUSLY HARMS YOU AND THOSE AROUND YOU." However, a much higher percentage of Europeans smoke than Americans. In America, the warnings are printed much smaller and in legalese, and the influence of lobbyists is far stronger. Yet through various ad campaigns and public education problems, we've drastically reduced the number of smokers down to a very low number in the last 20 years, whereas the only discernible European demographic that does not smoke is infants. High Five, America!

3. I'm definitely not going to accuse all Europeans of being arrogant; that would be completely unfair. And I'm not letting Americans off the hook for this, either. But it's a sad truth that the people who act out most are the most visible. A lot of Europeans are quite proud of the fact that, yes, their country is particularly liberal, they get completely free health care, and their economies are so ridiculously strong that everyone in the middle class can afford upscale clothing. There was a long period of time (about eight years, in fact) where Americans were particularly looked-down-upon in Europe because Bush was president. Could this have been any more unjustified? Only half the country voted for him, and the other half that didn't vote for him outnumbered the population of any European country. Keep in mind that the names of our political parties aren't just the Social Democrats, the Democratic Social Union, and the Christian Social Democrats. The economies in most European countries are so clean and shiny today because they were reset every few decades by things known as World Wars, which the US ended. Whereas we wrote a Constitution over 200 years ago that outlines a plan for a new, freer kind of country that still stands to this day and, despite its enormous size, has not once been occupied, European borders have constantly shifted. And one more thing, Europeans: isn't it ironic how you complain about the dominance of American media and culture, when you yourselves are gobbling it up not only voluntarily, but at a far higher rate than your own cultural output?

4. The cultural compartmentalism and the tiny land areas of European countries, on one hand, make it much easier to reach a political consensus and move forward progressively. On the other hand, it's not easy to be a unique European. Let's take Germany as an example, because I know it best. The average German my age, and most Germans, in fact, would say "I'm from a village/city (the same one my family has lived in for generations), I commute by bike/train, I enjoy football, German food, and going to clubs/bars on the weekend." To most people, this seems like an almost offensive stereotype, yet it's true. The middle class in these countries is enormous, and most people are content with a middle-class upbringing and a middle-class lifestyle for their entire lives. There's no desire for economic, social, or spatial mobility. In the US, parents move to an entirely different coast, a 6-hour flight away. Their parents or grandparents might have arrived in the country from anywhere else in the world. Not everyone is blonde-haired and blue-eyed, and that's why it's easy to see someone and to guess "That guy is German" but not "That guy is American." True, it's easier for Europeans to get things done in their countries. But where's the variety in life, the things that make you unique as a person, and the interest in meeting other people, if everyone is the same and has the same background and goals?